Navigating Grief: A Journey Without a Map

When Crystal and I sat down to record this week's episode, I didn't want to talk about grief because I had all the answers. I wanted to talk about it because I don't.

Over the last few weeks, grief has been impossible to ignore. My wife's mom recently passed away and right before our podcast break, a close friend of mine passed away. As I started thinking about what this week's episode should be, it just felt like the conversation we needed to have.

One thing has become clearer to me than ever... Grief doesn't come with instructions.

We've all heard about the "five stages of grief," but real life rarely follows a neat timeline. Sometimes you're okay for months, then a song, a picture, or even a smell brings everything rushing back. Other times you surprise yourself by how differently you respond compared to another loss you've experienced.

I've lost my dad.
I've lost my mom.
I've lost brother's.

And every one of those experiences where different.

Crystal shared how losing her grandfathers affected her in completely different ways. She also opened up about losing her son and later the heartbreak of saying goodbye to a little boy she had helped raise. It was another reminder that grief isn't measured by titles or timelines. It's measured by relationships, memories, and moments that were uniquely yours.

One part of our conversation really stuck with me... For years, one of the hardest things for me to hear after losing someone was, "I understand."

The truth is... I don't think we ever truly understand someone else's grief.

Even if we've lost the same relationship, we're not the same person. We don't have the same memories, the same regrets, or the same connection.

What we can do is show up, be present and listen more than we talk.

Ask what someone needs instead of assuming we already know.

Sometimes they just need you to be there. Sometimes they need space and both are okay.

If there's one thing I hope people take away from this episode, it's this:

There is no "correct" way to grieve. If you're crying every day, that's okay. If you're throwing yourself into work, that's okay.

If it doesn't hit you until years later, that's okay too.

You're not broken because your grief doesn't look like someone else's.

And if you're walking beside someone who's grieving, remember that your presence will almost always mean more than having the perfect words.

This conversation didn't solve grief. It wasn't supposed to.

My hope is simply that if you're carrying loss right now, you walk away knowing you're not alone.

We'll continue this conversation next week with a question I think every one of us needs to answer honestly:

"How are you... really?"

Until then...

Stay healthy, stay balanced, and keep driving forward.

John

Watch or listen to the podcast here: Health, Tech & Wellness Podcast